Puberty Pals
by Neon Green Jumpsuit
Summary: The Naruto gang face something evil. Something Diabolical. Something life threatening. Something called puberty. M for language, mentions of sexual nature.Warning!Yaoi and Yuri parings!
1. In The Eyes of the Teachers

**A/N: So one day, I was sitting on the toilet. Just sitting. The toilet is like my thinking chair. Don't ask why; even _I_ don't know. So anyhoo, as I was thinking, I, for some unknown reason, though it would be fun to write a little fic about the Naruto gang going through Puberty. Cuz everybody just LOVES going through Puberty -.- . And because we've all suffered/are suffering the joy known as Puberty, I decided that those little ninjas should have to too. And here we are. **

**Disclaimer: Once again. No. I don't own Naruto or any of its characters or merchandise. Fo serious.**

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My name is Kakashi Hatake. I am a Jounin here in the beautiful village of Konoha. I am also the teacher to three wonderful children who have aspirations of becoming Ninja. Wait. Scratch that. I'm the teacher to three spawns of the devil who have only been placed on earth to ruin my life. Sakura with her... Her... Her boobs. Yes! She has boobs! I know! I can't believe it either. She's not supposed to have boobs! She's not _allowed _to have boobs. It's just not natural! Oh and that's not the half of it. She has _hips. _Yeah! Hips! Those things that _women_ get. Not little girls! Especially not little pink haired girls that I have to see everyday! And- Oh no. Did I just say that? Did I just say 'those things that _women _get'? Shit. I think I did. Why me? Why _me_? She's... Sakura is becoming a woman! And women, for some god forsaken reason unknown to man, get emotional as hell a couple days a month. They get their... Their... Their!... _Period..._ Yeah. I think I'm gonna die. And then there's Naruto. Oh my god there's Naruto. _The _Naruto. You know that one with the fox demon sealed in his belly? Yeah. _That _Naruto. I'm pretty sure he's hit puberty as well. Why? Oh I don't know... Maybe it's the fact that he's practically humping everything in sight?! That's right, Naruto. Don't think I didn't see you. I mean it was only broad day light. I feel sorry for the poor tree. Well at least you didn't embarrass yourself in public. Anyways. Not only is Naruto horny as hell, his voice is cracking. Do you have any idea how hard it is on the ears to have to listen to a loud, crackly voice? All. Day. LONG? It's not pretty. Especially when Sasuke yells at him for being so loud in his _own _crackly voice. Yeah. I didn't think it was possible, but the Uchiha hit puberty. My team of genins has hit puberty, and boy did they hit it **hard**. 

**POV Change! Yay!**

My name is Asuma Sarutobi. I'm a Jounin in the village of Konoha. I'm the teacher to three amazing kids. But that's the problem. They _aren't _kids. They are... Uhm... I don't _know _what they are. And that's what scares me. I don't know if they are kids anymore. I really don't. And I am scared shitless. The other day, Ino came to training looking like what resembled a drunk Tsunade after gambling and loosing for the seventeenth time that night. She did a really good impression. But that wasn't the scary part. I've seen Ino angry before, not to this extent of course, but when she burst into tears because Shikamaru had called her fat, _that_ is what scared me. I tried explaining to Shikamaru that Ino was not _fat_, but that she was developing _curves. _And Ino took off. Sobbing even harder. Maybe she was just embarrassed that her sensei knew about it? I hope not. Or else she'll be angry with me. And I really don't want that. Anyways. We had to continue training. And it was _hot._ I don't think I've seen Shikamaru sweat as much as he had that day. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen him sweat. So I told them to take of their shirts. You know, just to cool off a bit. Chouji only took off his little jacket thing. I can understand why. Poor boy. But Shikamaru, exclaiming that is was too troublesome to be hot, took of his jacket and fishnet. And for some reason Chouji shied away. Why? Why would Chouji shy away from Shikamaru. They're best friends! But then I saw _it._ Yes. _It._ Chouji had an _erection. _An erection! My pure, untainted Chouji was _not _supposed to have erections. And then it dawned on me _why_ Chouji had an erection. I glanced over at Shikamaru. And, not to sound like an old pervert -cough Jiraiya cough-, Shikamaru was _hot._ I've never really noticed how defined his muscles were. Oh. My. God. Not Shikamaru too! Please don't let this be happening to me! Please!

**More POV Changing! Wee!**

I'm Kurenai Yuuhi. I'm a Jounin and I teach three kids who wanna be Ninja one day. Unfortunately, there comes a time in every kids life when they are no longer kids, but pre-pubescent nightmares. My poor little Hinata... I can't believe Kiba would ridicule her like that! One day during training, Hinata had to stop sparring with Kiba because her stomach hurt. Kiba, being as obnoxious as he is, told her to suck it up and stop being such a wimp. But then, the tears started. And I thought 'Oh no. She's at that age. _That_ age. The one where little girls become women.' and I had to stop Kiba. Hinata could barely move! So I told Kiba to stop complaining and go spar with Shino. Okay so maybe Kiba wasn't exactly _ridiculing _her, but I could tell she was embarrassed. I couldn't do anything but comfort her, telling her that it was normal and that every girl her age was probably going through the same thing. It seemed to make her feel better. Back to Kiba and Shino. Kiba... Kiba... Oh! I knew something was wrong with his voice! Goddammit! I distinctly heard it crack. Yes. It cracked. And I think that's when the world came to an end. But apparently it didn't. Oh no... That'd be too simple. I just _had _to suffer a bit more, didn't I? Yup. And suffer I did. Shino and Kiba were... No where to be seen. They'd disappeared. Maybe for good? No. Of course not. I could sense them in the trees of to the side of our training grounds. But what was that other thing I sensed with it? It couldn't possibly be... No. No freaking way. Was that _arousal_? No. Arousal was not allowed. It couldn't have been. but when they had re-appeared, still sparring, I could definitely see the slight bulge through Shino's pants. And oh my god Why couldn't the world just end?

**One more to go!**

MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS ARE GROWING UP! I just know it! My beloved student Lee... His voice... It's cracking! That can only mean one thing! Puberty! I'm so proud of him! He's finally becoming man! And my Neji... What a youthful young man he's becoming! His muscles are becoming more defined and his voice is deep and strong. Like a Ninja's should be! But... TenTen... She's... She's scary to say the least. When she isn't overly sensitive, crying at anything and everything, she's yelling at everybody! Even me! _Me_! Her sensei! She should respect me more! I'm disappointed in her. But I'm also terrified. When she started screaming at me for paying more attention to Lee than anybody else, I nearly wet myself. I don't know what's gotten in to her. Or maybe the question is... What's getting _out _of her? Maybe she's becoming a woman?! Oh, could it be? Could my glorious soon-to-be-kunoichi possibly be growing into a young lady?! The youthfulness is overwhelming! I can't believe it... My team of genin... They're all grown up -sniff-. My team has sprung into the utmost of their youth! Let this day be forever recognized! Just think... My team of young genins... Grown men and a woman... IT'S SO YOUTHFUL!

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**A/N: Whew! That was fun! I came up with all that on the spot. Would ya believe it? Look out for chapter two! In The Eyes of the Students. I hope I got all the teachers in character. If not, oh well. I bet that you would never have been able to guess who the last paragraphs POV was in if I hadn't named the students. (Sarcasm. Wee.) Please tell me if I'm doing good so far, or if I should even continue, should I have over estimated my writing skills that much. And on that note, I leave you. -NGJ.**


	2. In The Eyes of the Students

**A/N: Yay! Second chapter! The alternate title for this is 'I Can't Believe It' and you'll all know why in a second. So I'll stop wasting time and let you guys start reading! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. Short and sweet. **

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My name is Sakura Haruno. And I am in _agony._ My life is horrible. And maybe it's just the hormones talking but I feel like I'm dieing. Damn my period. Damn those stupid boys. Damn Kakashi-sensei. Damn Puberty! I know what you're thinking. 'Damn Sasuke? That's absurd. You're madly in love with him!' Yeah well guess again, sister. I've realized how completely idiotic my crush on Sasuke is. I don't see the point in chasing after somebody I can never have. Or like for that matter. Yeah, you heard me. I don't like him. I don't think I ever really did. I guess I just wanted to prove to Ino that I could best her at something. Speaking of Ino, her and I are friends again. The best of the best. We talked about how stupid we were to let some boy come between us. I wonder if she has her period yet? Ha! I can't believe just how miserable her team is if she does. I hate this puberty thing. But at least I have boobs!

**Switch it up! **

I'm Naruto! Naruto Uzumaki! And I'm gonna be hokage! Believe it! But you know what I can't believe? This. 'This?' Yeah. This. This everything. This whole... Puberty thing. I don't get it. Why does this have to happen? Why can't we just magically become grown ups over night? It would be so much easier. And so much less embarrassing. I can't believe my voice is cracking. I sound so stupid! And I'm getting hairier. In _a lot _of places. Ugh. I can't believe this. Why? Why why why why why?! I don't _want _to be hairy! It's so... Ew!

**Once more for the team **

I'm growing facial hair. No. I'm not allowed to. Why doesn't my body understand that? I, Sasuke Uchiha, am not allowed to have facial hair. My skin is so smooth and perfect. Well... Not so much anymore... And it's all because of the evilness that is acne! It's not that bad really. It's just so... Ew. So of course I use Oxy Pads. Which reminds me... I need to get more. But that's not the point. The point is that I'm growing facial hair. Which is strictly forbidden. I will not tolerate it! But I can't shave. One; I don't have anything to shave with and two; if I shave, I run the chance of cutting my face. And cutting my face is also strictly forbidden. But I have to! I can't live with this hair on my face. I'll have to pick up a razor while I get those Oxy Pads. But facial hair isn't the only hair I'm worried about. Oh no. My legs. The hair! Oh my god I cannot believe the amount of hair that just magically appeared on my legs. Maybe I could shave them too?

**On to a new team! **

My thighs are so damn fat. This is intolerable. I have hips. Those are okay I guess. I have... Breasts. I think. There's definitely _something_ there. But they aren't as big as Sakura's. I'm so jealous. What? It's not like I was staring at them! They just... Caught my attention is all. Anyways, I cannot believe Shikamaru called me fat! How could he?! Is he blind or something?! Has all that cloud watching given him an eye tumor? I am _not _fat. And then Sensei had the nerve to tell Shikamaru that I was _developing._ How could he?! That is a private subject. By now I bet the whole world knows! Pfft. Men.

**Gasp! Enter: Erections. **

That did _not _just happen. There is no way in hell I just got a hard on. There is no way in hell that it was because of Shikamaru. No god damn way. But... Shikamaru _is _really hot... Okay so maybe it _did _just happen, but can you blame me? It's not my fault! Well... Okay it kinda is... I mean, I've always been a bit attracted to Shikamaru. After all, he _was_ my first friend. I can't believe I just said that. But he's just so hot shirtless.

**So hot shirtless **

What can I say? I love my body. I never thought I actually would but, hot damn, I'm lookin' fine. ... Alright I admit, that was pretty out of character of me but seriously? If I can get a reaction like _that_ from Chouji, I must be somewhat attractive, right? Speaking of Chouji... I still can't believe it... Man, he looked so edible with his face flushed and that shy expression. I'm getting excited just thinking about it... Holy shit! Did I just say that out loud?!

**Poor girl... **

Oh my... That was embarrassing... At least Kurenai-sensei understands. I don't know if I'd be able to say it... I'm glad she's so understanding. I could barely move and Kiba-kun wanted me to keep fighting! Uhn... Which reminds me... I need to ask Sakura if she has any pain relievers for this... Type of thing...

**Way too obnoxious **

Pfft. Hinata is a wimp. Whatever little 'tummy ache' she had I'm sure wasn't bad enough that we had to stop sparring. And I was so close to winning! Well at least I get to fight Shino now. Was it just me or had he grown like a foot taller in the past week? Meh, who cares? He still looks damn fine in those pants. Whoa, how did we end up in the trees? I should really pay more attention. What?! How did I get on my back? And how did Shino get on top of me? Not that I mind... Yup. I have the biggest crush known to man or dog kind, and it's on Shino. I can't believe it either. Why's he looking at me like that?

**Wow.**

His lips are parted, he's panting, his face is flushed, and he's under me, arms pinned above his head. I can't believe how hot this is. I could just rape him.

**Feel the Youth! **

I cannot believe this! I'm becoming a man! Now I can be even more like Gai-sensei! He says I'm in the spring time of my youth! YOSH!

**So damn... **

I'm not gonna lie. Lee is so damn fuckable. Pardon my French but it's true. I can't believe how revealing that spandex is.

**Argh! **

I can't believe Gai-sensei! As much as I respect the man and all, he always does such weird things! He just won't shut up about how everybody is 'in the spring time of their youth these days' even though he's been saying that for the past 2 years. _Every day _for the past 2 years. And so of course, I have to tell him that it's getting on everybody's nerves. But when I do, he just gives me this look that says 'I think I peed myself'. Am I really _that_ scary when I'm on my period? Am I?! Argh! Some people these days.

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**A/N: And there ya have it. The second chapter. From the students' views. Everything from Shino to Neji was meant to be short. No I did not just run out of ideas, but I think those parts should be straight and to the point. I _was _going to make Lee ramble on about his youthfulness but I figured that'd take years. Considering I'm not fluent in the language of green spandex. I know right? 'Oh em gee, You're not?!' Yeah. It's true. Next chapter will be story mode, with everything including a plot, beginning, middle, end, and of course, the Narrator.** **-NGJ. **

**P.S. And If you'll look to your right, you'll see that NGJ. used the students' POV's in the order they were mentioned in the first chapter. That is all. (In case you didn't get the joke there, I making it seem as though I was one of those tour bus people... You know? Where they say 'And if you look to your right you'll see...' Yeah. :P) **


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